Holy SHIT! I cannot believe how long it has been since I posted last. I've lost track of time, been lost in my crazy world of ...CRAZY and have just been plowing through life at warp speed. So much has changed for me over the last couple years. I've lost friends, gained friends, mended fences, moved a couple times and journeyed through some major life transformations. Overall...I'd say....Life is Pretty fucking AMAZING.
When I read the initial description of the blog, I realized: the bitch that wrote it had 3 kids! Now, this bitch has 4...FOUR..1+1+1+1...KIDS. Have we never heard of birth control...damn. Despite the high number ( and I know woman who are perfectly content with a higher kids:parent ratio), having 4 kids is...easy. Yes, easy. I'm sure some one who just read what I wrote think I'm high. I'm not. I might wish I was some days, but right now I'm completely sober and completely honest...it's EASY. You know when you can admit that 4 kids aren't killing you , it's the right number for your family. Not every fucking day is easy, some super suck. But the average consensus between my husband and I is that we'll survive and they'll survive. We have FUN and run with it.
How can 4 kids be easy? Honestly, I don't have a great philosophical answer for anyone. What has been a tried and true approach for us is:
Get our head out of your ass: Don't sit around all depressed because you don't know what the fuck to do. Be proactive in problem solving how shit is going to work [for your family]. Don't expect to keep said head shoved up ass, hoping that someone feels bad enough for your dumb ass to come rescue you and do the work. You got pregnant, not them.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself because you have a surprise pregnancy: "OMG...how could this have possibly happened to us?" You fucking know....insert slot A into slot B....DUH...MORON!!! DEAL, COPE, Move-the-hell -on.
Suck it up: Crying in a puddle will only get you more behind on laundry, dishes, a clean house, interaction with your children, appointments. ...And on and on and one. It's never-ending....even when you break down....it's piling up exponentially. You're losing family time. Life time. You're missing memories. Get it together shithead.
which brings me to...
Get your shit together: It really is self explanatory. Collect yourself from the floor and recognize that only you can be proactive in your problem solving. Again, quit blaming every else and making yourself a sob story....and get shit done. Drag your ass out of bed in the morning, drink your coffee...pick up dirty laundry with a kid on your hip and cereal in your hair. Kiss the kids, hug the husband, do the laundry, do the dishes....shit has got to get done.
Once you plow through the mental and emotional shit that comes with this many kids...or more than this..or even less than this, you can move on with life. So many people operate on the "woe is me" platform that is makes me physically ill. We all have depression, we're all crazy, we all fight with our husbands and we all fuck up this parenting shit on a daily basis. No one...NO ONE...is responsible for the situation you're in but YOU!!! (and your significant other, of course). Don't put the guilt of your psychosis on others. Don't alienate people because you're the fuck up and need to project. Deal with life...DEAL WITH IT ASSHOLE!
And now to address the people who just read this and think I'm targeting them: FUCK OFF! Seriously people...this is my raw truth. This is a journey I've just plowed through. This was me. Sad, sorry, depressed, angry and fat. I woke up one day and ALL BY MYSELF realized....I only have once chance to not fuck life and my kids up. So, starting that day...I pulled myself up, held myself to a higher standard and got shit done. I lost almost 130 lbs, pursued things that I loved, made myself a priority and with all this came mental stability. I'm happier, I'm more in love with my life, husband and children. I'm HAPPY! When you recognize that only you can start and complete your journey...you'll have an easier time not depending on and blaming everyone. You'll be less resentful and mean. Overall, people will like you more. If you currently have a problem with people not liking you, your kids are driving you nuts, you hate them and you think the world is against you...Look in the mirror. The asshole in the equation: YOU!
