Red Light Special

OK people. For those of us married or in some type of monogamous relationship, we all know there can be sexual dry spells. I won't lie, we were in one.  Keep in mind we have an almost 7 year old, a 3 year old, and a 7  month old.  Of these three wonderful, beautiful, and crazy children, 2 sleep in our bed. It is ridiculous.  I don't know how it happened, but we both hate it.  I think we're just too tired to remedy it.  I barely sleep as it is, and Pete has a brutal schedule at work. So overall, we're tired, we got kids in bed, we don't see each other a lot, and throw in their pizza nights, Mexican nights, dinner parties, sports, dance, Dr appts, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, play dates, social events.........sex has been put on the back burner.

Recently we've moved, and it was something we knew was going to happen, but it happened faster than we imagined, and before we knew it was moving day and there were 3 kids and boxes to balance. Our awesome friend Erin and her equally awesome mom Vickie, offered to watch the kids so we could get some things moved to the new house.  We gladly took them up on the offer and took the kids to Erin's hosue.

We packed and moved and loaded up trailers. We had 2 strong burly men helping us and we worked steadily for 3 hours.  Without kids, the 3 hours was a lot!  The big burly men left and Pete and I finished up a few last minute details before he had to get ready for work. We started to head our separate ways, him to work and me to Erin's house for the kids.

As we headed down the stairs on our departures, I had a brilliant idea to have sex, make love, do the horizontal tango, whatever you call it.  Since there were no kids, we figured it was a perfect opportunity to reconnect (quickly might I add) and have a little fun without interruptions.  The thought of making love to my husband without kids in the house was just what the Love DR ordered. So we race downstairs, rip off our clothes, fall into bed, and start the process. No sooner than we both are hot and bothered, I noticed that Mater, our cat, is sitting on the bed staring at us.  Our last cat was blind, so this was a little unnerving and we lost slight momentum.  Then, Pete looks up and standing in the window in our bedroom with his nosed pressed into the screen was a high strung Dalmatian wanting some attention too.

So, after all the hub bub and excitement of hot, racy, uninterrupted humping, we ended up with a fucking audience anyways.  I have learned a valuable lesson about keeping passion in marriage alive...do it wherever you can, as often as you can, and sometimes as fast as you can! You never know when you'll have an empty house and some alone time, and NEW RULE: Pet's don't count!

Maybe next blog I can think of a great explanation how I ripped off the inside of my lip with packing tape!