Ugh, it has literally been the winter from hell with the Brownings here in Alaska.  Just one chaotic situation after another and sickness after sickness.
So, we've moved, again.  I'm over it. If i ever have to move again, we're buying a fucking motor home and selling all our craigslist shit.  Yes, I said craigslist. While I may be a snob when it come to my kids and their attire, upbringing/education, when it comes to myself, I'd rather buy items from craigslist that I know are solid wood or excellent construction than buy something cheap and composite that will flake apart in a matter of years.  That being said, let's move back to the motor home. I just fucking refuse to move again. I am always the one to pack and label everything.  I am always the one to unpack everything, and even if I don't move the boxes from point A to point B, whoever does, manages to fuck it all up. They put shit where I can't find it, then I become a raging psychotic bitch that no one can handle. Which they don't have to handle because I rule everything. EVERYTHING.

Speaking of ruling everything..............I managed to convince my loving and gullible husband that I needed a puppy. Which I did, I swear.  So, yes, we have 4 dogs. But let's face it. My floors are usually cleaner than people without animals or with just one.  Dogs define who I am. They make me feel like I didn't fuck up their life by whatever decision I didn't or did make.  I get my goodnight kisses from them no matter what! And I have some good dogs. Well behaved. They don't have accidents. Only one is destructive cause he's mental;) But I love him despite his being "special." So, a puppy we searched for, a puppy we paid for and a puppy we brought home.  The bringing home part was a bitch.

Pete was supposed to get Tuesday off(to go with me), he didn't. I was going to go Wednesday by myself to get the puppy....with 5 kids......adventurous. Kristina, who would have normally helped out with some kids was sick, so I was gong to take them. I woke up with strep.  I was so sore and sleepy from no sleep and swollen glands that I wanted to shoot myself. I dragged myself to the clinic (5 kids in tow), the Dr. refused to give me a pcn shot, and gave me Zpak instead, which has a 20% fail rate.  Well, we here at the Browning house live life by Murphy's Law, so of course the fail rate would apply to me. Anyways, the 2 hour drive to meet the breeders in Fairbanks was indeed hell.  I could barely stay awake. And the kids were loud.  I like silence in my car. No music, no games, no talking, just silence. Yeah, it's bitchy, but I deserve to have some place that is quiet and I demand it's in my car. My kids understand, the extra kids don't. Ugh.  When we got there I tried to run errands. Peter and a girl I babysit refused to stay by me.  I don't give a fuck what other parents do, or how other kids act with their parents. When you're with me in any store of any size, you keep your happy ass right by my side. You don't stray, you don't touch, you don't ask, you don't fucking misbehave period! Every rule was broken.  By the time we left the store, each kid probably has a swollen forehead from getting flicked for being naughty. And, my finger hurt from the flicking.

Off to get Hannibal, we met the breeders, got the puppers, and ran more errands.

Next store......Sam's.  A little better, not by much. The kids were OK, but one of them just kept hanging out of the cart and every time I tried to turn the Philippine made cheap ass cart, she'd smack her elbows on boxes and whatever was there.  She'd cry but insist on hanging out still.  I just started running into things on purpose to see how long it took her to get her whole body inside the cart like I had asked numerous times.  She never did. Brilliance at it's best.

Then it was lunch time. Everyone wanted McDonald's...ummm..............no.  1) they are overpriced 2) they make me and my kids sick every time 3) I'm mean and anything they asked for they weren't getting. See how they like it!  So, decided at stupid Sam's to eat there.  Everyone got pizza and water (they wanted soda and sugary drinks).......and 2 of the 5 kids were so butt hurt they had tears in their eyes because they didn't get McDonald's and soda.  When we were done, we went to car, and Hannibal shit in the crate.  The whole van smelled like shit.  So, not only did I throw up twice on the two hour drive to Fairbanks, but I threw up a third from cleaning up puppy poop.  I doubt it would have been so bad if I wasn't sick, but i puked all over Sam's Club parking lot.....which was kinda cool since I hate their company and think they are economical Nazi's.  Crisis taken care of, last errand. Wal-Mart, the other Nazi company.  I was too flustered and pissed at the kids to even finish my list and I left the store.  Kids that weren't mine were asking if they could have everything they went past. Kaidence was crying because she couldn't ride the Penny Horse.  I said "fuck it" to the whole operation and left the store.

I was heading across town in Fairbanks, after WM fail, and the intersections were icy. At one stop light the van just kept sliding on the ice. I was close the rear ending a car and was able to drive to car into the cement median and stopped it short of hitting the guy in front of me. While being proud of myself for avoiding an accident and being clever by doing so, I noticed the guy I ALMOST hit was not as elated. That little wisp of a reject man actually got out of his car to yell at me.  He came up to my window and started screaming.  At one point, his spit hit me and his head was inside the vehicle. I guess "back off, my kids are in the car, and I have no problem hitting you next time" weren't enough to make him go away. I leaned over to the glove box and he wanted to know why I needed to get my insurance stuff.  My response: "I'm not getting my insurance you stupid fuck, I'm grabbing my gun." Poof......man gone.  Just like magic. Black magic. I also hope I gave him strep because I had only been on antibiotics for 4 hours.

Quiet ride home, puppy slept, kids slept, very peaceful.  Still sick and fighting sleep, but better than listening to "123 NOT IT" or off key singing from some jiggy ass music that I wouldn't even listen to.

And Yes, I did name my puppy Hannibal Lechter.  If anyone ever questions my character, refer them to the name of my puppy, and questions will cease, I promise.