The Boy Who Frankensteined a Grasshopper

So, we have all heard the tale of Frankenstein, the monster pieced together by spare parts to form a whole being. Well, here in the Browning family, we've strayed from building a whole being, but my son has mastered building "things" with spare parts.  To start this story, let me share my first concern in the tale:

Four weeks ago, Peter woke up and ran up stairs to say "Mom, there's a bird stuck in a tree." OK, explaining that birds don't get suck in trees isn't even worth the waste of air when it comes to Peter. Well, I looked outside, and believe it or not, there was a bird lying on the ground unable to fly. So technically, it was stuck on the ground.  I disregarded the bird and the boy. Later in the morning he said he put the bird under the shop, in order to keep if from being eaten by the dogs (we have 3 big ones).  Early in the afternoon, I looked on the deck and noticed Suave (as in Rico Suave), my golden retriever, chewing on something.  I poked my head out the door and asked Peter what Suave was chewing on. He answered "the bird!" OK, assuming the bird died, and it was almost fully eaten, I went about my day. Once Dad came home, I give him an account of my day, including the bird saga, and as I was telling him about it, a light bulb came on in my head:

Me: Peter, come here for a minute.
Peter: What
Me: Was the bird dead or alive when you fed it to Suave?
Peter: dead?
Me: OK.....how did it die?
Peter: I killed it.
Me: OK....how did you kill it?
Peter: I poked it in the eye with a stick

This is where mom and dad try not to laugh out loud and turn around so the kids don't see our amusement. Yes, I said amusement.  If it were someone else's kid that did it, I would be laughing my ass off, so why not find it comical when my kid does it?

Enough of the serial killer jokes...haha...funny funny....Let's proceed with the story:

2 days ago, Peter became fascinated with all the grasshoppers jumping around the yard. This fascination was mainly due to the butterfly population being eradicated by Peter and his sister.  Well, well into the afternoon, I tell him to come inside for dinner, and he pisses and moans all the way up the stairs to the deck. I asked him what was wrong. He answered "I'm not done with my grasshoppers." At this precise moment, I know that I shouldn't ask and probably don't want the answer, but I ask anyways. "What do you mean you aren't done?" He runs down the stairs, grabs something and runs back up. He says "look!" Upon first glance, I see a grasshopper flapping his wings.  Then he explains that there are two grasshoppers and he took the heads off and squished their necks together. So upon closer examination, I can vividly see two grasshoppers bodies no heads. So from left to right....the sequence is butt, legs, upper body, upper body, legs, and butt. Special, I know.  Where in the hell would this child think to even do this.  Scary, I know.  Where would be get these horrid ideas? Rewind a couple weeks:

Me: Kids come here quick. I want to show you something
kids: what?
Me: There's a spider in the sink, want to see something cool.
Kids: Yes Yes Yes
Me: OK, watch this

(Spraying Scrubbing Bubbles all over spider! Spider flips to it's back, kicks a little and then dies, dies, dies. Hahahahahahaha...sorry got carried away :)

Me: Cool huh?

Kids: Yeah, do it again
Me: OK, find me another spider!

See, I honestly have no clue where Peter would get such ideas. Boggles the mind!