I have recently learned a number of interesting facts about my kids and family. I've learned that Peter loves Clean House, the TV show. He thinks it's great that other people go into messy houses and clean them. I'm not sure if it's his favorite show because he likes a clean house, or because he believes we need Clean House to come rescue us. Any given day is a toss up!
I have learned that my daughter is indeed a psycho! I mean this in the most loving way possible. Our regular daily conversations are as follows:
Me: Kaidence go pick up all those outfits you tried on.
Kaidence: I don't want to
Me: I don't care
Kaidence: (a pile on the floor crying!) I don't want to, I can't do it.
Me: If you can dress a million times, you can put away at least once
Kaidence: I can't mommy, wah wah wah, *Then she throws something
Me: Now you have two things to do. Pick up your clothes and then pick up what you threw.
Kaidence: Screaming Sobbing, hysterical fit........"HI KITTY!" (as sweet as ever)
Me: Oh, you're better now?
Kaidence: (back to crying and throwing a fit)
Lather, rinse, and repeat. The whole thing just repeats itself, and we go in circles. And by god, I will go for house, till it is my way. Cause after all sister, it's my way or the highway, and no matter how long the highway is....it"s gotta end eventually!
Keep on Trucking moms, cause one day you'll be right!
The last thing that I learned is about Pete! I have now learned that he uses me to do his dirty work. Not because he's incapable, but because he likes to come out smelling like roses. The man secretly enjoys having the wife that is psychotic (like her wonderful daughter), so people feel sorry for him. I will assume that if it looks like I do whatever I want despite his best efforts, then whatever I do can't possible reflect on him, since he obviously has no control. Now, for those of you who may believe that bullshit, stop right there. Most of my crusades and outburst comes from some little tidbit that my husband feeds me. He tells me about work, the injustices, etc, and then magically he gives me who, what, when, and why of the situation, and I just fucking run with it. Poor defenseless Pete and his wife that is out of control. Again, Bullshit. That man has opinions coming out his ass, but in order to appear neutral, he poisons me with his ideas and opinions. How awful! To think, if he didn't do this, I would be the quiet complacent wife that other men dream of. Yeah fucking right! And to be honest, I secretly enjoy being his little pawn, because in my little psychotic head, I can tell myself that it isn't me that's crazy, it's him! Hell, let's face it, we're both nuts! Two crazies don't make a sane, but they sure have a lot of motherfucking fun!
(pardon my errors in all blogs, I sit in the dark in bed doing this, and I semi-suck at it!
1 comment:
It sounds exhausting.
Post a Comment