Ode to the Lowther's

It was brought to my attention this morning, that in all my blogging, I've left out one of my nearest and dearest friends...Lindsay. And of course her wonderful husband Mike, but he doesn't come in until later, so.....

I'm not gonna lie, when I first met Lindsay on the bus, I thought she was a snob.  And there really could only be one of us like that.  I didn't think we could be friends. I couldn't have been more wrong.  Through many things we've been through.  Crazy BF moms, hot red Marilyn Monroe dresses, botched hair dye jobs, and babies and weddings.

From a bus ride to school to bridesmaids in each other's wedding...it's been a long ride, and not a single bump.  How do you seriously have a friend for almost 20 years and not have  SINGLE argument.  Or at least one that I remember.  She must be a good person, right........which brings me to the biggest decision I've ever had to make, the hardest decision I've ever had to make, and Linsday and Mike.

The Mike and Lindsay Union is the match made in heaven.  He's great, she's crazy, he accepts it, and she gets some pretty awesome gifts from the man, even after all that crazy!  In all the crazy, they have decided not to have kids...Who doesn't want kids, seriously.  Who doesn't want to have jelly on the couch, their shit ruined, gray hair, hospital visits, no intimate vacations, no privacy, no saneness, and no room in closets for their own shit, because their kids have the most clothing.  I guess they'd like to be the happy married couple not fighting about raising kids, disciplining kids..etc. Just strange I tell you...........But working to my advantage. How so you ask?  These two suckers, Mike and Linsday.....have been entrusted with the care of our children and estate in the event that anything happens to Pete and I.  We asked after they were married. We asked again after Kaidence was born, and again after Hunter was born.  Each time they said yes.  Maybe they honestly and truly believe that the children will never have to be in their care........because if someone came up to me and said "Hey, I hate to ruin your perfectly sane life, but would you be the guardian of the Browning children F0REVER if anything should happen to their children?"  I'd say F and then NO!

Haven't you heard the stories you two? Don't you know what kind of children I have.  They aren't "plug into the TV and read a book" type of children. They are "hyper active, climb the walls, constantly in trouble, crazy children!" And you will still take them.  I'll admit, the monetary perks that come with them would be a motivation, but then refer back to the actual children.....ummm...not so much.  No amount of money would be enough to purposefully flip my world upside down and start a new life.  So crazy Lowther's......you're crazy.

How do I know these people are THE people that can be trusted forever with my children.  It is not only a mother's instinct, it also is rational, smart, well thought out and makes perfect sense.  I know my family is a little butt hurt about this decision, and if you're reading this..........I don't give a fuck.  You make decision about your own kids, and we make ours about our own. OUR decision, no one else's.  Rant over.....story continues....Mike and Lindsay have no kids, they probably won't have any kids, so perfect.....my kids would be the kids, and there is no competition.  If something happens to us, I want my kids spoiled rotten, yet disciplined well, and the center of the Universe.  I think the best place for that is in a home without other children to compete with.  Also, I consider these two financially responsible. I don't want my children in a home where paycheck to paycheck situations dictate the mood and lifestyle. Granted the children come with sizable financial compensation, but they are Browning children. It may never be enough. There is also the Gymboree clause, that Lindsay knows so well....My children are to be dressed in Gymboree clothing only, as they are now, because their mother is a label whore.  And last, but not least, I know Mike and Lindsay could love my children the way I love them and make sure they have every opportunity in life they deserve as well as encourage them to be the best people they can be.

Who better than the Lowther's to make my children their own.  Peter's first matching  outfit (by Absorba) a little cream and yellow rabbit with matching hat......Peter's first little train set for his first BDay, Kaidence first purse........Whether they want children or not, they are in tune to them.  I 100% stand by my decision, even if I have seen Lindsay in with badly dyed bleach blonde helmet hair!

My dear Mike and Lindsay- get your asses to Alaska! I see you go to casino's, Bahamas, yet, no Alaska, shameful. Just Shameful. And for the record, we are done having children. No additional nightmares to worry about! But be afraid of these 3, they are our clones.you got screwed! hahahahahahahahaha!